Over the past week and a half, I have received calls from four families, primarily moms, who have heard about Carson and our family’s story. I immediately ask them how I can help. They start to tell me their story and apologize if the story is too long. It’s their sons. They tell me that they are good boys…(Of course they are!) Their sons do well in school, they are athletes or do some sort of extra-curricular activities, they have plenty of friends….The moms say that it started with pot, that they have set boundaries, have had them see their doctor and a therapist. Some have done IOP (Intensive out-patient) for substance abuse. Then something changes…. the boys behavior changes. They go “missing”. There are times they don’t come home or can’t be accounted for. They seem to be more moody, much more defensive. They tend to have outbursts, fits of rage. They are destructive to the households, cars, etc…. it seems because they don’t get their way. They are scaring the parents and other siblings. Their best buddies are keeping them at arms length, they don’t want to be associated with them. Their grades start fall, they are skipping school and can’t understand why they didn’t make the varsity team. The moms ask me, “am I crazy?! Is this some weird adolescent behavior?” I have to tell them that unfortunately, no, this is not normal and that most likely they are on to a different drug. Carson acted this way when he was on Xanax. I’m not talking grandma’s “nerve pill”. I am talking Xan bars, street altered benzodiazepine. These types of drugs are psychoactive. The “chill” part last a short amount of time but the after effects can last a long time. It causes the user to have blackouts, agitation, violence, and an extreme need to keep the high going… so much so that they will seek out more Xans or something else. Carson drank isopropyl alcohol from under the bathroom sink. He did’t know what he was doing.
These moms were contemplating doing what we did…. to send their boys away….they asked about our experience with the Wilderness Program and where Carson is today. I told them that one size does not fit all, however that I thought they needed to get them out of their environment. That they need to have a period of abstinence from use and influence. Then at that point the kids can get to the bottom of what made them go off the rails. Is there an underlying issue or simply experimentation gone too far? Either way, the burden of use is causing mental and health strain on the entire family. My belief as a parent, which seems to be the same for many who have been through this is that any time spent abstinent while in adolescence is a good thing.